I have to start this post by saying that I love the woman that takes care of Clara. She watches her 3 days a week, and she is my savior. Previously, Clara was in a baby-factory that literally gave me nightmares. There were about 12 snotty, crying toddlers per 18-year-old college student - in a room about the size of my bedroom. And it was miserable. I am so glad to be saved from that place, please don't get me wrong. But I am struggling with the standard mommy-guilt.
Clara has been crying. She cries when I leave. She cries when the childcare provider isn't holding her. And she cries bloody murder if the woman leaves the room. And I am a single mom - a working mom, no less. So there really isn't anyone else around to point fingers at.
The first line of questioning went like this. "Have you always held her so much? Maybe you could let her be more independent. Let her cry a little. Allow her to build some confidence being on her own." Well... I hold her a lot. Partly because I don't get to see her enough, and I miss her! And partly because she's a baby. And then there's the fact that I love her.
Anyway, none of that business seemed to help much. So the next approach was more serious. "How old was she when you went back to work?" Well, this one is even more tricky, because I started working again when she was only one week old, because I had to. So, probably that's why she cries. Maybe she's going to grow up to be a serial killer, who knows.
I hate mommy guilt.
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Cross-posted from singlesupermama.com