I need a wife. Bad. I need somebody to make grocery shopping lists. And to keep track of school schedules (yes, the school secretary actually called me because nobody came to pick up Joy on an early release day last month, oops). My mail-order wife could watch the kids, and make dinners. Maybe do some light cleaning and do dishes (I would help - I would be a supportive spouse!). I'll bet the price would be cheaper than a nanny. I don't care what she looks like. And I wouldn't even make her do it with me. She could have her own room! Well, actually, I don't have any extra space. But we could fix up the laundry room real nice. Whatever color she wanted! She might really like the air mattress...

I wonder how much those mail-order brides cost?