Our family celebrated Hanukkah together this weekend. And I should really write about something deep and meaningful. Like the meeting of religions that occurs in our family when we say the Hebrew prayer and light the menorah, which sits beside our Christmas tree.

But all I really want to talk about are my boobs. And the fact that they are now so big that if they get one little tiny bit bigger they are going to explode like over-filled water balloons. And that I can't find a bra big enough to hold them in. And that milk is dripping onto my feet. MY FEET. Oh. My. God.