Help Your Child to Give During the Holiday Season
by Abby Franklin12/4/2007 10:33:03 AM
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Have you found yourself sitting by the tree Christmas morning, watching your child tear through their mountain of gifts, and you hear them say “What! That’s it?” I have and it made me squirm in my slippers.
As a parent I want to teach my children the important lessons of life: treating people with respect, sticking up for the underdog, wearing clean underwear and, in this case, being gracious when given a gift. Ever since my children were very small, I have helped them create homemade gifts to pass out under the tree and in the neighborhood. My children have great pride in the gifts they make. They love to see the smiles when friends reach for that special and messily wrapped package.
I have learned from years of trial and error (along with some tears and complaining from the kids) what is important to think about and what is important to avoid when helping your child in their efforts to give.
- Sit with your child and make a list as to whom they would like to give gifts. A good place to start is the people who will be giving to them. You don’t need to point this out to your child, but when they are given a gift and they have one to offer as well…that feels good. Help your child to think in a broader scale. We could give to our neighbor, the mail carrier, pets, the homeless and families in need.
- When gifts are homemade and the child is able to do most of the creating themselves, it really adds to their experience of giving. They made this special thing, they wrapped it and now they get to hand it out. Your child will feel the warm feeling of giving when the gift truly comes from them.
- If your list of people to give to is a long one, consider choosing crafts that can be made in bulk like homemade treats, ornaments, or small paintings that can be nicely framed. There are lots of helpful websites with craft ideas, like www.FamilyFun.com or www.AmazingMoms.com.
- Set aside time to help your child with the crafting. Splitting the creative time into smaller sessions may help you and your child avoid getting frustrated or feeling overwhelmed. Focus on this being a positive experience.
- When the holiday is approaching, set up a wrapping station for your child to wrap the gifts themselves. Younger children (3-5 years old) can make generic gifts that don’t need to be labeled. The wrapped gifts can be placed in a basket and the child can walk around the room handing out their packages. School aged children should be encouraged to make name tags for the gifts. The practice of reading the tags and passing them out to the right person will add to their experience.
- Older children (12 and up) may lose the desire to create a gift and want to buy a gift instead. In this case, help the child come up with an appropriate budget and consider offering them opportunities to make money by doing extra chores. When the child uses their own money to purchase the gift it will feel more special to them.
- Lastly, when the packages have all been opened and we have gone back to our homes and our routines, thank you cards could be considered. Cards can be made from scraps of paper with a simple thank you written in crayon. It’s the thought that counts.
I remember a Christmas night when my daughter was four years old. I was tucking her into bed--she was exhausted from a day of excitement and sweets. I kissed her cheek and said, “I really enjoyed watching you pass out your gifts today. How did that feel?” “Good!” she said with a big smile, “Can we start making the gifts for next year when we wake up?”
With some effort on your part, your child will also feel the joy of giving and you can avoid that uncomfortable scene by the Christmas tree when your child shouts, “More presents!”