Answering the Tough Questions
by Evelyn Turner3/22/2008 2:57:02 PM
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My 7 year old grandson always seems to find the tough questions for his grandma when no one else is around to help.
"Why do we celebrate Easter?" Keeping it simple, I explain that Jesus died and went to heaven on Easter.
"What happens when people die?" Their soul goes to heaven.
"Do they go to the cemetery and stand around and then go to heaven?" No, when they stop breathing, their soul goes to heaven. Their body stays. Their family takes their body to the cemetery.
"What if their parents are dead?" Their friends and family take care of their body.
You never know what kids are going to ask...are you ready to answer?
"What if they don't have any friends or family?" That would be a sad life to have no friends or family.
"Well, what if they don't?" Then the government would take care of it.
"Did you know Lightening McQueen didn't have any friends and then he met Mater and Sally?" Yes, I'm glad he has friends now.
These types of conversations are wonderful ways to cement our relationship with our grandchildren. They’ll grow up knowing they can talk to us about anything.
But how do we make sure our answers are acceptable to their parents, our children? Only by knowing how they stand on important subjects. If we don’t know, it’s probably because we never had those heart-to-heart discussions with them on death, sex, drugs, money, religion, politics, and all those other sensitive subjects. If we had those discussions, most likely they were still in their formative years. As adults and parents, their viewpoints may have changed dramatically.
Take this opportunity to get to know your adult child better by having a heart-to-heart talk about important subjects, all in the best interest of their children. Ask them how they want these questions handled before they arise.
If they prefer to answer the questions themselves, tell the grandchild, “That’s a great question. Let’s ask mom/dad when we get home.” And then follow through.
If you answer the question, keep it age appropriate. The answer to a question about 'the birds and the bees' at age 6 is very different than at age 12. Answer simply and allow the child to continue to ask questions. They’ll stop when they have their questions answered. And you can breathe a sigh of relief if it goes no further.
Several weeks after our ‘death and cemeteries’ talk, my grandson came to me. “Someone told me they burn the bodies after people die.” Here we go again.