MOXIE MOM on Life & Kids
Young Writers Studio Fundraiser
Stephanie Dethlefs, a friend and fellow writer, is the founder of Young Writers Studio, a fantastic resource for Whatcom County kids that she’s poured her heart and soul into. The Studio is having a fundraiser book sale, and I wanted to pass the word along.
Here’s what Stephanie has to say:
As you may know, our organization has been incorporated as a nonprofit and is on its way to obtaining 501(c)(3) tax-exempt status. And to celebrate, we are going hold a fundraiser!
On Saturday, July 31, we will be having a gigantic used book sale, with 100% of the proceeds going to support Young Writers Studio programming. With financial assistance available for our low-cost workshops and free support given to the public schools, we rely greatly on the generosity of our local and regional community to keep our programs up and running.
And here’s how to help:
1. Donate books!
Let me know that you have books to donate, and I will come pick them up (contact is info@YoungWritersStudio.org). One book or one hundred…whatever you can donate is great! Books for all ages, of all genres, all styles, all sizes welcome…as long as they’ve been just gently loved. In return you’ll be given an IOU donation receipt which can later be used to obtain a tax-deductible receipt once our 501(c)(3) status is granted (this fall…fingers crossed!)
2. Shop our book sale!
Mark your calendars for Saturday, July 31, 2010, 12 – 4 p.m. at the Center for Expressive Arts and Experiential Education, 1317 Commercial St., Suite 201, Bellingham 98225. All books priced at $1; 12 for $10 & 25 for $20. A book-lover’s paradise!! 
3. Pass the message to any and all who might be interested in donating or attending!
Find out more about our program at www.YoungWritersStudio.org. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for supporting the Young Writers Studio.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
On Being Too Good
I started reading The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence for research purposes, but then I got so engrossed in Rachel Simmon’s message that I started recommending the book to all my friends who have girls. To the moms themselves, too, because this book has a powerful message about girls’ (and women’s) potential and the unachievable goal of being “good.” I got interested in the book because I see parents of girls (I am one) coping with subversive relational tactics between girls. According to Simmons, it starts in early childhood.
You know that mean girl behavior we associate with middle school? Those tactics can start as early as preschool. In fact, I recently read a study showing that girls as young as age 3 not only understand “relationally aggressive” tactics, but they associate them with being a girl. Yikes. No wonder our elementary school teachers are tearing their hair out.
Relational aggression is that behavior that attacks relationships. It’s the gossip, the eye-rolling, the rumors, the “he said,” “she said” stuff. Simmons says it stems from our culture sending messages to girls at a very early age that it’s important to play “nice.” Girls grow up equating self-esteem with being Good–modest, polite, and selfless. She believes this message sends girls’ challenging emotions, deemed unacceptable, underground, and they come out sideways in indirect ways because conflict is bad, unladylike. Recognize anyone?
But it’s not that girls are relational bullies. That’s too simple, and it’s always bothered me that we are so quick to label girls who use these tactics as mean. Sure, teen girls can be mean in highly creative ways–I’ve heard the methods–but why? Where does it start?
Ask yourself if you’ve told your daughter not to say anything if she can’t say something nice. Girls need help with being direct. They need help labeling uncomfortable emotions. They don’t need the message that they’re mean or impolite or girls shouldn’t say such things (really, this message is alive and well). Simmons’ book is not about relational aggression, per se (that’s her first one, Odd Girl Out), but she does show how girls’ communication strategies play a role. Her larger message is about girls’ lost potential, and a compelling one it is. With case studies and research, Good Girl shows how the tendencies to subvert the self to be Good can affect educational choices, ability to hear feedback from a coach, choices in relationships, and confidence in the workplace. Simmons also shows us how to reverse the trend at the individual level, right down to sample conversations.
Have a girl? The book is aimed at middle school parents, but elementary parents benefit too. This is a great summer read to get you ready for next fall’s classroom.
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Tonight my daughter was reading a little article I wrote about swim lessons that was published in New Jersey Family last month. “Don’t pressure kids,” she read. “Now, that is the best tip I’ve ever heard.” (She feels especially close to the topic since it was her swim lessons experience that led to the article.)
So I’m passing along all I’ve learned about failed swim lessons because, after all, the season is upon us. Read about it in “Tips for Developing Water Confidence in Reluctant Children.”
And if your boy (or girl) is bringing home the big-dog words, you can catch a few tips in “Cures for Cussing,” out last month in Parenting School Years. (My son still doesn’t know I wrote this — not saying he was my inspiration or anything.)
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